Mayne's eventful book tour, con't.

Q: How many times a year do you get out to L.A. for work?
KM: I seem to get here maybe five times every year. On "Dancing with the Stars," I've been out at least twice a year since getting kicked off. For some reason, we always find a way to do an NFL story (for the ESPN pregame show segment called the "Mayne Event"). Last year we came out and did a piece where we pretended that game-show hosts hate Randy Moss, because he was going to start a show called "Straight Cash Homey." We tried to get Wink Martendale, but he fell through. Alex Trebeck had a heart attack. We got Pat Sajak and Howie Mandel. It was all born of a comment Moss said. Someone asked him "Was that a statement game?" and he said, "I don't pay attention to what those sports shows and game shows say about me."

I'd be here this time with or without the book on this trip. We do a fake "SportsCenter" for "Dancing with the Stars," called "Dance Center," with me, Jerry Rice and Len the judge that critique the remaining contestants (see a YouTube clip of it above).
(The show Mayne taped on Wednesday last week airs this Tuesday), so It can only be good for the book promotion. If 20 million people hear my name, whether there's a book mention or not, that's good. I've had a good relationship with the show, going back a half-dozen times to do some fake stories as well as the "Dance Centers." Any time you can stay in front of the ABC people, that can't hurt you.

Q: You're not busy enough at ESPN that you still have time for other projects such as "Dancing with the Stars"?

KM: I was just offered a tryout for something that I don't think I'll go through because it's just too complicated with the amount of time they'd need and the stuff I have going at ESPN. It is a show called "Wipe Out," which I think (ESPN anchor) John Anderson is now doing.
(He is, and it's a reality show coming out this fall).
"A while back when Lloyd Braun was the head of ABC Entertainment, he saw me do a thing at Disneyworld, an event Michael Eisner had me as the MC, like a retreat for management where they spend money like fools, bringing in Joe Namath and Walt Frazier as guest counselors. I was the fool who kept ht party moving and Braun said that I showed him I could do something beyond 'SportsCenter.' This was 8 to 10 years ago. So they had me work with a bunch of writers, we got some scripts done, it got read, and nothing came of it.

Q: Is that related to the story about how you were in line to host the gameshow "Power of 10," which Drew Carey later did?
KM: I'm not even sure that's a true story. It's something that someone printed, and then someone else printed it and then became fact. I was asked to do a reading for a show -- maybe it was that -- and it didn't work out. There was something that a more sure thing -- a syndicated version of "Deal Or No Deal," but they wanted me to sign a contract before knew I had the job, which would have locked me into a salary. It was way too complicated.
(The show is apparently a go for syndication this fall, but according to the release, no host has been named).
Those things are real attractive but you don't really want to do a game show five days a week. But then you find out what they make, and you might change your mind.

Q: The book title is kinda crazy, but did you really want to borrow the way Jon Stewart wrote "America" and make it completely off the wall?

KM: In the book's forward, even though it was meant to be funny, it was sincere that the model was Jon Stewart and his 'Democracy' book. I was thinking, without trying to rip him off, 'Why can't I do that kind of joke for sports - funny pictures, funny lists, captions.
But as I started writing, it stopped being what his book was and it became a regular book - you turn the pages, there's a new chapter. So it morphed into that. I think one night I just thought of, 'What's the most ridiculous title I can come up with?' That was it, it sorta says to the people who know me what it's about. And honestly you're selling yourself to people who already know you, there's nothing wrong with that, Martha Stewart sells books even though she has a TV show. Someone with a little prominence doesn't hurt to bring the viewers over. I mean, tomorrow I'll sell a waffle iron. I'll keep seling crap until you buy it.

Q: What was the process like writing a book for the first time (as opposed do doing taped pieces with guys like Tom Brady, above, which really wasn't part of this question but seemed to fit into captioning the photo)?
KM: It was real fun, I guess. It's like when I was doing "SportsCenter" -- I love the show when it's on the air, but the eight hours before doing all the rudimentary stuff ...
When I sold the book in February of '07, I asked about the dedalines, and they said they'd try to publish it by Father's Day. So I thought, 'I can get it done in the next two weeks, crank it out, no problem.' No, they meant Father's Day 2008. I was shocked that the process worked so slow. The only books that get rushed some if they're about O.J. Simpson are another story.
I turned it in May '07. They came back three weeks later with just a few fixes. Then I looked at it and hated it. I thought they were too easy on me. I stopped liking it and went page by page and rewrote the entire book in two weeks in the Summer of '07. And after seeing the galleys, there was more stuff I just threw away entirely and put new stuff in.
I'm glad I did it, but it's a weird process. And selling it is even stranger. I'm used to doing TV or 'Dancing with the Stars" where maybe I tell a few friends about an episode that's coming up, but I don't run around town telling people, 'Hey look what I did for 'SportsCenter.'" But with books, if you don't do that, you're kinda screwed.
Back to writing it, there was one plane trip, a five-hour flight (from Connecticut) to L.A. where I didn't stop typing on the laptop. It was like playing music. Whether it's any good is up to people. But a lot of stuff reverted to my childhood experiences. Almost any guy played backyard Wiffleball or football or pickup basketball and they all their versions of my friends. Everyone's Wiffleball field was taylored their own way. We lived on a lake (in Kent, Washington) and we had bizarre ground rules. The right side, and I have no idea why, was an automatic foul ball, but if it bounces into left field, then it was fair. My sister Nancy was a junior in high school and she was our Wiffleball supply shop. We'd have her run is to ValuMart in her car and come flying back with a bunch of new balls. It was the greatest thing to open a box of five new balls.

Q: Do you have people ask you if you still work at ESPN?

KM: I get it from time to time. But then others might say, 'You're always on the air.' People know me for different stuff. I can see how others see me maybe just on a Sunday or Monday for three minutes and that's it. But I'm always planning for the next story after the one I'm doing ends. I'll be at the Kentucky Derby (this week) and still do the "Out Takes" story for the magazine. To me it's a great schedule. I do have a new contract and I'm working on a secret project (which he told us about off the record, and an announcement will come soon ... it has to do more with Internet stuff). No more "SportsCenters" unless this falls apart. To me, "SportsCenter" still is popular, but we get beat to the punch by ourselves. There's still value in "SportsCenter," but it's no longer the only game in down and in many cases, ESPNEWS or ESPN.com beats "SportsCenter" to a story.

Q: One last thing: About your ankle -- you write in the book about how you tore it up playing at UNLV as a junior, then came back to play as a senior. Is it really that messed up?

KM: It kind of looks like there's a baseball inside of it, with the scars on both sides (he pulls up his jeans to show it, which is easy since he's wearing flip-flops, and it looks as if it had been stiched up by the Rawlings factory in Haiti with the seams on both sides). I'm pushing 50, and every year I get older it takes a little longer to get my feet under me. The surgery I got for it in 1980 was probably the best that doctors could do back then, but playing on it the next year probably did a ton more damage. It's just one of those deals. The last time I had surgery on it four years ago, I was on crutches and my daughter was running down the hall saying, 'You can't catch me!' And I said, "You know, you're right." I don't go running or playing basketball, just the stair-step and riding the bike. It's not like I can't play golf or celebrity softball without ruining it. Some nights its worse. If I wear dress shoes all day, I feel it and have to ice it down.

Q: So that's your excuse for losing on "Dancing with the Stars"?
He had no reply.

On the blog set up for Kenny Mayne to write about what it's like to write a book, which is included on his website incredibly called www.kennymaynehaswrittenabook.com, which replaces the website, www.kennymayneiswritingabook.com, there includes this latest YouTube clip of him practicing how he'll do bookstore appearances:

And ...
For those still who simply enjoy looking at car wrecks, here's Kenny's one and only full-on dance appearance on the opening episode of "Dancing with the Stars" in January, 2006:

==Even more Qs, followed by just as many As:
==A Q-and-A with AOL Fanhouse online
==A Q-and-A chat Mayne did this week with the Washington Post.
==An interview posted on Deadspin.com.