Who says Alyssa Milano doesn't come cheap?

The Dodgers.com shop blasted out an email today announcing a bunch of items going for up to 60 percent off, as they're clearing way for all new junk they anticipate you'll purchase.

And this isn't just Mark Hendrickson travel mugs we got here.

You remember all that line of clothing that sweetheart baseball fan stalker Alyssa Milano cranked out of the last couple of years -- real tarty stuff that made her look like a 35-year-old trying to stay 23, but really didn't happen?

You can get it yourself and save a bunch of cash, too! It's like going to Costo looking for wrapping paper and coming out with a salmon smoker -- who'd have thunk all the savings you'd get?
And this stuff ain't going away, either. According to her bitchin' website, she's made deals this year with the NBA, NFL, NHL and Collegiate Licensing to peddle her crap all over sportsville, geared toward "women 10 to 40." Or women 40 trying to look 10.
When was the last time you saw a 10-year-old woman? Yo, Samantha.

Not to get off topic, but these are among the 97 items listed on sale at Dodgers.com that they're trying to move ASAP:

==Item No: 2528363: Los Angeles Dodgers Women's Rhinestone Foil V-neck Top- "touch"™ by Alyssa Milano.

Was $49.95 ... Now $32.97

From Milano's new "touch™" line that apparently isn't so new anymore. You cram youself into this 95% cotton/5% spandex v-neck with the Dodger logo in rhinestones across the chest.
Perfect for when you're talking to someone and you can say: "Uh, my eyes are up HERE, not there ... but please, gaze at the Dodger logo all you want because Alyssa put it there for a reason."

==Item No: 2826973: Los Angeles Dodgers Womens Modal V-Neck Top "touch"™ by Alyssa Milano
Was $49.95 ... Now $32.97

Same deal as above, but this one actually looks better on Alyssa as she models it (that's her in the darling dark blue thing at the top of the posting) ... Even without the logo across the chest, we are mysteriously drawn to check the V-neck out. Interesting. Note: Does not come with the hooker hoop earrings.

==Item No: 2528364: Los Angeles Dodgers Women's French Terry Hood- "touch"™ by Alyssa Milano
Was $49.95 ... Now $29.97
Three bucks cheaper than the other marked down Milano overseas produced by child labor rags. And far less flattering of her to model it, also.

==Item No: 2756292: Great American Los Angeles Dodgers Medium Crystal.
Was $49.95 ... Now $39.97
What is it?
"A unique way to display your team spirit!" says the descripton. What we see it a giant crystal paperweight that we're not even sure what it weighs. Shipping could be ridiculous. And it's made in China, so it's probably got a lot of lead poisoning added for your convenience.

==Item No: 1956576: Mitchell & Ness Brooklyn Dodgers 1956 Emmett Kelly Clown Mascot Pennant

Was $29.95 ... Now $23.97
You know how pictures of clowns freak out the kids. This old-school wool (and rayon) pennant will put them over the edge. Can't believe these didn't sell out the minute they were offered.

==Item No: 2220151: Forever Collectibles Los Angeles Dodgers Eric Gagne Dog Tag
Was $9.99 ... Now $4.97
Are these for people, or for dogs? The package says for "Ages 6+" ... Again, is that in dog years?
"Fashionable, Trendy, and the hottest item around! Wear your team with pride!" That's the description of the product included. Remember when Gagne was fashionable and trendy? Before or after LoDuca supplied him with that unmarked package.
Our guess is you couldn't put these out on the counter in a box that says "Take One!" and be rid of them by the end of a 15-game homestand. Not even Danny Goodman could have figured a way to unload these.

==Item No: 2823044: Los Angeles Dodgers Unisex Adult Beach by Crocs
Was $34.95 ... Now $24.97
You know how we feel about these whole Crocs things. A dog chew toy is less expensive. And there's far less toxic petroleum used.

==Item No: 2361638: ProMark Los Angeles Dodgers Splash Guard Pair

Was $24.99 ... Now $19.97.
Doesn't seem like much of a bargain for a pair of mudflaps. But it does remind us of the lyric from the Spinal Tap classic "Big Bottom" that includes a reference to a female rear end, comparing it to mudflaps.
Milano, by the way ... no need to worry about this reference. Yet.
So, all things considered, how can we leave this deal behind?