Carolla vs. Braun: Brains vs. brawn
Sorry we're getting around to this a few days late, but if anyone's got a YouTube.com video exchange between Adam Carolla, subbing in on Tuesday for Jim Rome on "Jim Rome Is Burning" on ESPN, and Ryan Braun, the rookie third baseman of the Milwaukee Brewers out of Granada Hills High, we'd pay top dollar for it.
Braun, sitting with a earpiece at an empty stadium and staring into a camera, tried to be polite as possible with Carolla, the wise acre best known around here for his early-morning radio show on KLSX-AM 93.1, the former co-host of "Love Line" on KROQ-AM 106.7 and one of the few we even recognize at the Dodgers' Hollywood Stars Night. But with Carolla, who was forced to wing it with the sports questions, the scrunched-up, Gilbert Godfried look he gave when listening to the stock answers provided by Braun, whose real claim to fame has been his home-run hitting prowess (which was never discussed), the priceless moments are the follow-up questions when it was obvious he was quickly bored with the whole process and wanted to take the discussion into a new direction.
Until you see the video, here are some of the highlights of the five-minute interivew, which came after Carolla had a rant about what the Seattle Sonics' name should be if the franchise moves to Oklahoma City, and before another rant about why some of today's major leaguers lather up their helmets in pine tar, or pull their pants up to look "like kids selling newspapers in the '30s":
AC: Congratulations on your really short stint in major league baseball, how long you been up, you got called up in May?
RB: Yeah, actually got called up May 25 and been up here ever since.
AC: And, uh ... what's your batting average? Two-fifty-some-odd?
RB: Yeah, something like that. As long as we're winning I'm not concerned with my individual success.
AC: Riiiiiight. 'Cause the coach may be watching. You worry about you. And here's the way I look at it. And I'd tell everyone in the dugout the same thing: If we all worry about hitting .400 then we're gonna win, so don't worry about the next guy. Forget this team sport crap. It's all about you, Ryan.
RB: (Nervous laugh) Yeah, I mean it definitely is an individual sport to a certain extent because obviously the better you do on an individual basis will help the team win, so if everybody focuses on themselves I think the team will be allright.
(So now Carolla has Braun buying into the "me-first" concept, and Braun seems to spin it right)
AC: Well now, uh, the Brewers haven't seen much success in about 24 years ... since '83 I guess was the last time they made the playoffs ... or '82, they say in my ear ... like it makes a difference... the point is, it's been a dry spell, right? So you were like, what, in Pampers the last time they went ... somewhere....?
RB: Actually I wasn't born yet at that time.
AC: You make me sick, you really do. Speaking of being born, we're both from the San Fernando Valley. I'm from North Hollywood, I hear you're from Granada Hills ...
RB: Yes, born and raised in Granada Hills, went to Granada Hills High School.
AC: Ummm-hummmmm. And, uh ... we didn't cross paths or anything did we? We didn't have the same girlfriends or stand next to each other in the same urnal in Van Nuys or anything like that?
RB: Not that I recall, but it's definitely a possibility.
(Ryan now looks like he's trying to roll with this, but without the face-to-face, it's becoming more littered with awkward pauses).
AC: Yeah ... now Elway went to Granada right?
(Carolla now seems as if he's run out of any interest)
RB: Yeah, he played football and baseball at Granada Hills High and our football stadium is actually named after him.
AC: Reeeeeeallllllly. That must be nice ... they named the landfill after me in my hometown of North Hollywood. ... a fitting tribute.
RC: (awkward laugh)
AC: When the season is over, do you stay in beautiful Milwaukee or do you head back to the San Fernando Valley?
RB: I think I'll be back in LA with the season ends.
AC: We could go out and party ...
(This now sounds like some meeting in a bar between two guys bored out of their minds).
RB: I'm in, I'm in, you let me know.
AC: You could bring that Rookie of the Year trophy everywhere, I'd mount it on the hood of my convertable LeBarron, we'd go out cruisin' for chicks.
RB: I'm in, I'm in, you let me know and I'll be there.
AC: What's it like being a rookie in 'The Show'?
RB: It's exciting, you know. It's kind of like everything I've looked forward to in my baseball career. It's a dream come true and for me, it's special to have an opportunity to be on a winning team and be competing for a post-season berth right now. It's definitely been a lot of fun.
AC: It's nice for you because you've been there a few months and all you do is win where you have a lot of veterans in the clubhouse who are used to ... possibly not being in the place where you guys are in at this time of the season ...
RB: Right, yeah, since I've been up here we've won quite a few games and we look forward to continuing to do that and play consistent baseball and ultimately get into the playoffs at the end of the season.
AC: How 'bout the Milwaukee fans?
RB: The fans have been very supportive ... excited about the position we're in and they're looking forward to supporting us the rest of the way and hopefully getting us to the postseason.
(Now, you'd think would come Carolla asking if he's seen the movie "Mr. 3000" and whether he gets along with Bernie Mac, but he takes it another direction)
AC: Now how cool is it you get to play for the one team that's named after making beer?
RB: It's pretty cool. I don't think anyone else has that opportunity. For us, it's pretty special.
(Braun, again, isn't sure how to answer these questions with the pat answers he's been tought to spit out, but he continues to try, God bless him.).
AC: Yeah, there's no way the league would let you get away with that any more. You know, if you had a new team, you couldn't call them the Distilled Spirits or anything like that. You'd have to call 'em the Throw Pillows or the Pin Cushions. You just wouldn't get a cool name like the Brewers. ... But, uh ...
RC: Yeah (looks up into the empty stadium over the camera, possibly for a signal that this will end soon)...
AC: Sorry, go ahead ...
RC: Naw, yeah, we might be the last ones. One of the dying breed of teams named after beer companies, so it's pretty cool.
AC: Ummm, hummmmm.... and ... you realize I'm serious about us hanging out in the San Fernando Valley when you're done winning the Rookie of the Year honors, right?
RB: I'm all for it. We can definitely get together.
AC: You, uh, think you guys are gonna make a good run here in the stretch and make the playoffs?
(Maybe that was a question fed by the guy talking in his ear, but Ryan really answered that with a stock reply minutes ago).
RB: Yeah, that's definitely our goal. I think we know what we need to do to get to where we need to be so for us it's just a matter of consistency and coming out and playing well and giving ourselves an opportunity to win every day.
(Did he steal that line from Nook LaLoosh from "Bull Durham"?)
AC: Any predictions, any promises ... (then RB's answer sinks in) ... Of course it's your goal to make the playoffs! It's my goal to make the playoffs and I'm not even in the league! I want a prediction. Give me a promise.
(I promise never to come on this show again .... how's that?)
RB: My promise is we'll go out there and work hard every day and give ourselves an opportunity to win as often as possible and ultimately I like our chances.
(TV screen pulls quickly back to a two-shot, with AC on the right)
AC: Thank you Ryan. Good luck to you guys.
(Commercial)
------
Have a read of the Ryan Braun story that appeared in last Sunday's Daily News ...
We look forward, by the way, to the movie based somewhat on Carolla's life called "The Hammer," which appeared at the '07 Tribeca Film Festival and has received some positive reviews. For more info, visit the official movie website, or the Hammer's My Space site.
About this blog
Leave a comment