Results tagged “Fox” from The Mayor of Television

Fox is, as usual, tearing up its schedule and starting over come the new year, when it has "American Idol" and "24" to bolster what probably could've been a stronger fall. (The Phillies/Rays World Series didn't help.)

In a way, Fox seems to have an embarrassment of riches, so much so that they're airing the highly anticipated Joss Whedon show "Dollhouse" (starring Eliza Dushku as someone genetically designed to eternally suffer from short-term memory loss so she can be dispatched on all sorts of tricky/sexy/violent assignations) on Fridays, where the network traditionally sucks wind. (More bad news for "Dollhouse:" It's following "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles," which was picked up for the full season despite fairly moribund ratings.)

("I'd be really hacked off that Fox gave me such a crappy timeslot, but it's already slipped my mind.")

Can't imagine that Whedon - who got jerked around by Fox a few years back on his short-lived show "Firefly" - is pleased to have his new series dumped on a night where 5 million viewers is shruggingly considered acceptable. And "Dollhouse" was one of Fox's "Remote-Free TV" shows, where advertisers were to pay a premium to appear in a program with not so much commercial clutter - can't imagine people paying a premium to appear on Fox Fridays.

Fox's other new show, "Lie to Me," stars Tim Roth as Fox's answer to Simon Baker's "The Mentalist" and has the bad luck to debut opposite the season premiere of ABC's "Lost."

Also, Fox has already pushed the "Family Guy" spinoff, "The Cleveland Show," to next season (but have already given it a full-season pickup) and the other new animated series, "Shut Up, Sit Down," has yet to find a spot on the schedule (though obviously they'll shoehorn it in on Sunday somewhere, sometime).

Fox 2009

Monday
8 p.m. "House" (Jan. 19)
9 p.m. "24" (returns with two two-hour installments on Jan. 11/12)

Tuesday
8 p.m. "American Idol" (two-hour premiere Jan. 13)
9 p.m. "Fringe"

Wednesday
8 p.m. "American Idol" (two-hour premiere Jan. 14)
9 p.m. "Lie To Me" (Jan. 21)

Thursday
8 p.m. "Bones" (Jan. 15)
9 p.m. "Hell's Kitchen" (Jan. 29)

Friday
8 p.m. "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" (Feb. 13)
9 p.m. "Dollhouse" (Feb. 13)

Saturday - still "Cops" and "America's Most Wanted," forever and ever, amen

Sunday - still "Simpsons," "King of the Hill," "Family Guy" and "American Dad," but also:
7 p.m. "Hole in the Wall" (Jan. 18)

NEW YORK (AP) - Fox Sports executives, panic-stricken over the prospect of an historically low-rated World Series between the Philadelphia Phillies and the Tampa Bay Rays, are resorting to drastic measures to assure a more potent match-up in the Fall Classic.

"We have research that shows if the Phillies and the Rays play, not even certain members of the players' families would watch," David Hill, CEO of Fox Sports, said late Tuesday, after the Rays beat the Boston Red Sox 13-4 to go up three games to one in the American League Championship Series. In the National League, the Phillies also lead 3-1, over the Los Angeles Dodgers.

"A Phillies-Rays match-up benefits no one - not the fans, not the Fox Sports production crew who enjoy partying in cosmopolitan cities after a game, and certainly not the great sport of baseball, the American pastime, for chrissake," Hill continued. "Is Tampa Bay even really part of America? I haven't checked."

"It's clear that a Dodgers-Red Sox Series would capture the imagination of Americans in a magical way that Philadelphia and Tampa Bay couldn't even hope to aspire to," play-by-play announcer Joe Buck said. "The high drama of pitting Manny Ramirez against a team he soured on and a city that now hates him is off the charts, before the first pitch is even thrown. And in America, you give the people what they want, or they turn on you. If they want a nice lobster meal, you don't hand them a sh!t sandwich. If they want Hillary Clinton, you don't offer them Sarah Palin - you saw how that's turning out, so you don't want to irritate sports fans with an inferior World Series."

After a hastily arranged brainstorming session, Fox executives, working in conjunction with MLB league officials, hit upon a plan to replace the umpires with characters from Fox programs. Characters to take the field to umpire the remaining games in the respective series include flibbertigibbet Marge Simpson, "Family Guy" patriarch Peter Griffin, Chloe, the petulant computer whiz on "24," Walter Bishop, the wacky mad scientist on "Fringe," Gregory House, a pill-popping crank and avowed Red Sox fan, and "American Idol" whack-job Paula Abdul.

"Look at the umpiring during these series - it's been nearly impeccable, and that's really hurt the Dodgers and the Red Sox," Buck said. "They've been reasonably consistent in calling balls and strikes, replay has shown that they got most close calls correct, and the umpiring crew masterfully defused a potentially incendiary situation in game three of the NLCS when Shane Victorino responded angrily to the high-and-tight pitch. Ordinarily, that's the sort of umpiring you want, but these are not ordinary times. These new umpires, with their unhinged or depleted mental capacities, should prove capable of throwing the games in the Dodgers' and Red Sox' favor."

"This is a perfect arrangement for us, because this way, we'll be able to give America a compelling World Series for the ages, and at the same time, we'll be able to aggressively inject the Fox brand into the proceedings," Fox Entertainment chairman Peter Liguori enthused. "Baseball fans will be introduced to some of the colorful characters that populate Fox's stable of quality programs and, who knows? Maybe when the series is over, they'll be inspired to stick around and watch an episode of "Fringe."

Bud Selig, Commissioner of Major League Baseball, said, "Sure, purists of the sport may kvetch over this arrangement, but surely, purists would also prefer to see the Red Sox and Dodgers duke it out in the Fall Classic. So, really, this is win-win for everybody."

"I'd love to play in the World Series, but I understand why Fox and MLB are doing this," said a player on the Tampa Bay Rays that no one has ever heard of. "I wouldn't watch a Rays-Phillies match-up, and I'd be playing in it."

Also tapped to umpire will be fifth graders from "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" who live in the Southern California and Boston areas.

Wow, was Wednesday night a bloodbath. MediaWeek ratings maven Marc Berman declared six shows "Losers" and two more "Disappointing." Should be a fun recap.

Looks like ABC's just going to have to be all "Dancing with the Stars," all the time. Its relaunch of its evening of sophomore shows pretty much tanked. "Pushing Daisies" lost half of its original audience year to year (6.3m viewers last night), "Private Practice" lost close to half its debut crowd (8.05m) and the only reason "Dirty Sexy Money" didn't lose half its viewership is because its was never very large to begin with. Still, "DSM's" 7.14 million viewers were on a par with what the show was doing before it took a premature writers-strike-induced vacation. The other two shows lost a couple million or so apiece from their final audience size last season.

So if ABC had brought these shows back after the strike ended, they might've discovered their viability or lack thereof then, and spared themselves the grief of going through a costly and futile relaunch. Of course, since they didn't have any other shows in development, Wednesday would've just become Test Pattern Theatre Night, but the cost-to-viewership ratio might've been a little better.

Berman, ever the diplomat, deems "Private Practice" merely "disappointing," even though, as the anchor of the night, it's sunk the whole ship. But it did do better than "Knight Rider" (7.56m), "The New Adventures of Old Christine" (6.86m), "Gary Unmarried" (6.97m), "Lipstick Jungle" (5.3m) and "'Til Death" (4.66m - oh, yeah, by the way, Fox cancelled "Do Not Disturb" last week, but it was hardly worth mentioning since no one would've noticed anyway). Here's what qualifies as upside - "Knight Rider" didn't drop off from last week, and "Gary Unmarried" improved a smidgen from its lead-in. These factors will inspire network executives to exercise something in very short supply: patience.

So, what did well? "Bones" actually won its hour, which might've been a first for it in terms of competing against all-new shows (9.8m). "Criminal Minds" won its hour, but that's no big news flash (14.51m), as did "CSI: NY" (14.67m). And "America's Got Talent" got 12.55 million viewers, but that's the end of bright spots for NBC, as that show has finally come to its conclusion.

And The CW was The CW. As usual.

If so, we may have the perfect gig for you: They're auditioning contestants for the next cycle of "Hell's Kitchen," which stars unhinged celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay as a man who copes with his anger management issues by loudly and bellicosely belittling contestants on his cooking show.

Auditions are Monday from 1-5 p.m. at The Conlin Company, 11825 Major St. Ste 106, Culver City, CA 90230. More info here. Bring ear plugs.

On yesterday's ratings roundup, Bill commented:

"(R)atings are flawed, though, considering the bottom line and the Internet.

"I work nights and have no DVR (and finding blank VHS tapes is not as easy or cost-effective as it used to be). So, much of my viewing is on the Internet. I watched 'Heroes' on Tuesday morning on Hulu.com, and had previously watched the 'Chuck' and 'Life' premieres last week on Hulu, and I bet a lot of others had as well.

"Why should we continue to use a now antiquated system to judge a show's success?"

Excellent question, and it could be expanded to: Why did we ever use a system that polls such a small percentage and the same basic people on a weekly basis rather than trying to get a more diverse sampling?

And the answer, as insufficient as it is, is: Because it's still pretty much the only game in town. TiVo users provide more data, adding what shows were watched up to a week after they aired, but that isn't reported as much because this is a culture that values instant gratification and, after we hear about the overnights, we move on to the next set of factoids. The networks will report on what got watched online if it's really impressive news (for example, NBC touted the fact that its first Tina-Fey-as-Sarah-Palin sketch was NBC.com's most-watched online video), but they don't offer much else - willingly, at least.

Also, the ratings are for the benefit, primarily, of the advertisers, who want to know whether they're getting their money's worth for ponying up big bucks to get their commercials in certain shows. They just happen to be of interest to (some of) the rest of us because we want to know which shows we shouldn't be getting too used to. Hulu runs spots, too, but they're not always the ones that ran in the show's initial airing.

The networks have spent a lot of time talking about their online business guiding viewers back to the TV, but based on the low ratings of, say, "Chuck" and "Life," that doesn't quite seem to be the case yet. If in fact it ever will be. If someone has numbers to prove otherwise, I'll be happy to see them.

And now, onto our Tuesday ratings extravaganza:

CBS won the viewership battle but Fox won the demographic war. "NCIS" kicked everyone's butt with 17.24 million viewers, but "House," with 12.66 million viewers, actually had far more in the 18-49 age range advertisers spend their money on.

Same deal with "The Mentalist" and "Fringe:" "Mentalist" had five million more viewers (15.27m to 10.04m) but "Fringe" had more aged 18 to 49. (In the same hour, the "Dancing with the Stars" results show had 15.14m viewers, but was No. 3 in the demo).

So we'll say it again: "The Mentalist," which held on to its sizable lead-in as well as the audience it attracted with its debut last week, is the season's first new hit.

"Without a Trace" and "Law & Order: SVU" similarly swapped bragging rights. More people watched "WaT" (12.65m to 10.02m), but more younger viewers tuned into "SVU."

The rest of the night was Shrugsville: "Biggest Loser," 6.7m, "Opportunity Knocks," DOA with 5.9m, 3 or so million for The CW, and an ABC special on weight loss had a very slender 5.3m viewers.

Pretty much a bloodbath in the ratings last night, as MediaWeek ratings guru Marc Berman calls no fewer than six shows "losers."

It was all about "Dancing with the Stars," which bulldozed the competition with 19.28m viewers and a hefty No. 1 in the 18-49 demo. (I'm going to quit explaining that from here on out.) But at 10 p.m., "Boston Legal" chased away half that audience - there's your first loser.

("Boy is there egg on our faces! Ha, ha - get it? Because we tanked in the ratings and we're dressed like birds? Ha, ha, ha - oh, never mind.")

CBS did OK, with "Big Bang Theory" (8.7m), "How I Met Your Mother" (8.8m), "2.5 Men" (13.76m) and "CSI: Miami" (14.07m). "Worst Week" won't have many more of them in the future, as it squandered nearly 4.5 million viewers from it's "2.5 Men" lead-in and had lower numbers in the 18-49 demo than "Big Bang" and "Met Your Mother," even though it had more viewers. There's your second loser.

NBC glumly provides us with losers three and four: Its relaunches of "Chuck" (6.2m) and "Life" (6.9m) were (insert grisly launching-pad metaphor here). (Previously, NBC had announced it was picking up "Chuck" for the entire season. Wonder if they'll remain good on that promise.) And "Heroes" has lost its super powers, managing only 9.3m viewers, a precipitous drop from last season, though Mr. Berman thoughtfully kept if off the loser list.

Fox rounds out our parade of failure, with "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" (5.3m) and "Prison Break" (5.2m). Mr. Berman cuts The CW some slack, apparently because they kvetch when he labels their shows losers, but "Gossip Girl" and "One Tree Hill" had more than 3m viewers apiece, which is good by their standards.

Not a bad Sunday ratings-wise; no executive is pulling his hair out today.

Football on NBC led the way with 16 million viewers. ABC took second with "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" averaging 9.5 million over two hours (the only mildly worrying aspect of the night - that's down more than 2 million from last season), "Desperate Housewives" (18.4m) and "Brothers & Sisters" (12.35m).

CBS had "60 Minutes" (12.1m), "The Amazing Race" (10.3m), "Cold Case" (11.2m) and "The Unit" (9.75m). Fox's "Simpsons" (9.3m), "King of the Hill" (7m), "Family Guy" (9.2m) and "American Dad" (6.86m) scored well in the 18-49 demo, so their lower numbers are forgiven by advertisers who don't even want to think about people over the age of 50 seeing their commercials and buying their products.

And an estimated 57 million people who care about the fate of the country watched the McCain/Obama debate Friday night.

What you'll see if you tune into Fox on Sunday:

"The Simpsons:" Springfield's booze-free St. Patrick's Day results in a brawl in which Homer is arrested and somehow parlays that into a job - with Flanders - as a bounty hunter; Flanders prays, "Dear lord, thank you for making so many criminals for us to catch."

"King of the Hill:" Waste-of-human-flesh Bill's junk-food diet gives him diabetes; rather than change his diet, he accepts the impending loss of his legs by getting a wheelchair, then befriends some wheelchair warriors who turn his life around. Dale marvels, "I've never felt more alive than watching bill feel more alive." Awfully wise for a Fox cartoon.

"Family Guy:" Brian falls for a fellow atheist but takes disastrous courtship advice from Stewie. Genital warts and repeated use of the phrase "Laura Bush killed a guy" figure in there somewhere.

"American Dad:" Stan and Francine have a panicked reaction to Steve entering puberty, resulting in wreaking havoc on his first date and a visit to a retirement home that "smells worse than the dumpster at the crab restaurant."

- "The Simpsons:" 8 p.m. Sunday, Fox (Channel 11).
- "King of the Hill:" 8:30 p.m. Sunday, Fox (Channel 11).
- "Family Guy:" 9 p.m. Sunday, Fox (Channel 11).
- "American Dad:" 9:30 p.m., F - oh, you know.

It's the job of network-TV executives to put a happy face on vexing situations, to - apologies to the 2008 Presidential campaign - put lipstick on a pig. So, when an executive breaks from the pack and sounds an alarm, you better pay attention.

This summer, Fox Entertainment president Kevin Reilly addressed the foundering fortunes of the sitcom: "I can't even go to the platitude of 'it's cyclical; it's going to come back.' My observation is, a lot of confidence has left the creative space on a day-to-day basis. I see really talented people coming in very skittish, not knowing what to pitch. I see executives trying to figure out, where is that nerve to hit. ... We've got to do anything to mix it up."

There have been a couple of really good sitcoms in recent years, and there are a couple of successful ones, but there hasn't been anything on the order of a great hit sitcom in years. I'm no doctor, but I have been monitoring the life-support systems quite some time now, and so I'm ready to call it: The mainstream, broadcast-network sitcom is dead. Break out the toe tags.

That doesn't mean the genre won't limp along, zombie-like, for years to come, that "Two and a Half Men" won't continue to be a success or that NBC will cease arguing that "The Office" and "30 Rock" hit the sweet spot of some desirable demographic. But, barring an act of genius or an influx (or complete absence) of audience good taste, network sitcoms will either attract cult audiences or continue to be utterly culturally irrelevant.

¿Quién es más divertido?

(Hint: It's not "According to Jim.")

And the reason is that thanks to our current cultural divide, we're divided largely along age lines as to what we think is funny. As Rob Roy Thomas, who has created comedies for both cable (Bravo's acclaimed "Significant Others") and broadcast (Fox's short-lived "Free Ride"), puts it, "Is it cool to go to your high school and say what you watch on a broadcast network?"

Well, no. No, it isn't. Cable comedies provide edgy, anarchic fare akin to their audience's sensibilities: Shows like FX's "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" (which returns Thursday for a fourth season) and Comedy Central's "The Sarah Silverman Program" and "South Park" offer up plots and punchlines that come from so far out in left field that Manny Ramirez wouldn't bother to try to run them down. They're dark and borderline crazy, but they actually do have something on their minds and are actually sane responses to a world seemingly gone insane.

("It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" takes the p!ss out of old-school sitcoms like "Friends.")

And Adult Swim's surreal, primitively animated offerings were punchy, short YouTube films before YouTube even existed. Sites like YouTube and FunnyOrDie.com have emerged as younger viewers' comic meccas - jokes come immediately, without getting muddled in tedious storylines that today's short-attention-span lifestyle can do without.

Older viewers, brought up on the elegant precepts of decorum and narrative coherence, are well within their rights to watch these things and wonder, "What the hell ...?"

On the other hand, the situations in most network situation comedies today are beyond tired, and the punchlines are either hopelessly old-school or a queasy, usually only semi-smutty compromise that pleases neither the traditional sitcom fan nor the younger viewer. ("Family Guy" is about the only network show that draws young viewers, but then, it's basically a mash-up of YouTube shorts peripherally linked by a rambling, non-sequitur-cluttered storyline.)

Only four new sitcoms will premiere this fall. One, Fox's "Do Not Disturb," has already arrived DOA, with fewer than five million tuning into its premiere. NBC's "Kath & Kim" promos scarcely look promising. CBS's "Gary Unmarried" is something that could've aired at any point in the past 35 years, while its "Worst Week" can't figure out if it's a cartoon or a character comedy, so opts instead to wring humor from having its protagonist pee in a pot containing his prospective in-laws' celebratory goose, something that might happen if a couple of quarts of tequila were involved but, otherwise, just represents desperate cynicism or cynical desperation; they're so hard to differentiate. ABC didn't even bother to try to air a new sitcom this fall.

("Do Not Disturb's" Jerry O'Connell and Niecy Nash sassily debate who's playing the most clichéd character.)

So we have a comedy arms race that one side (the old guard) can't possibly win and that the other side (the young anarchists) aren't interested in winning so long as they can continue in their rude ways. No point in asking, "Can we all get along?" Because the answer is no. Each side will laugh at what they think is funny - and also at the opposing side in this humor-generation gap, secure in the knowledge that what the other thinks is funny is so obviously not.

What do you think? Can the sitcom be resurrected? Or will the obsession with demographics create a further rift in our senses of humor?

Episode two of "Fringe" makes it pretty clear from the outset that it's not going to be like "Lost" or "Alias" - it's dead set on taking viewers by the hand and guiding them through the bumpier passages of the show's mythology. There are several scenes of bald exposition recapping what happened in last week's premiere; relationships between the characters are re-explained and then hammered home; the show's central theme - science has run amok and we're merely treading water instead of keeping up with it - is explained several times, with and without big words.

Not that this is a bad thing - it's a well-known trope in TV that when starting a new show, you essentially make the pilot five times in a row to get viewers up to speed. But it's a clear departure for series co-creator J.J. Abrams, who likes his viewers to pay attention, rabid attention.

Tuesday's episode opens in typically attention-grabbing fashion, with a chatty hooker getting pregnant immediately after a tryst in a dumpy motel and giving birth and the baby aging and dying - all in the matter of less than an hour. (They grow up so fast these days. And fruit flies think they have to live for the moment!) A nurse shrieks melodramatically, because I guess that's what nurses do.

So FBI Agent Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv) is called in, because growing old in an accelerated fashion is apparently a violation of some Federal statute I wasn't aware of. But this incident conveniently has echoes of a case Dunham never solved, of a ghastly serial killer who removed women's pituitary glands from their brains, and it also taps into a secret project that mad scientist Walter Bishop (John Noble) was working on during his tenure with the U.S. government before he went bonkers, involving creating adult soldiers in a matter of three years.

(Can this page from Fox's website help you unlock the mysteries surrounding "The Pattern?" No, it turns out.)

Turns out there's a product of those experiments running around out there, and he needs those pituitary glands to curb his aging process. (How does this guy score so many women in the first place? He's a pretty creepy, uncommunicative guy.)

So J.J. Abrams is showing his influences: This is essentially the plot of the TV flick "The Night Strangler," which starred Darren McGavin as intrepid and wisecracking reporter Carl Kolchak, only with a layer of science drizzled over it to coax viewers to buy into it more.

It's OK stuff, but I sense "Fringe" lapsing into a conventionality that "Lost" assiduously avoided. I'd like a little more out of Torv's acting, to be honest, and a whole lot less from Noble, whose performance threatens to devolve into camp if it hasn't already. His sonorous voice and melodramatic, vaguely pompous line readings seem to come from '50s potboilers, and the writers aren't helping with the sort of dialogue they stuff into his mouth: Introduced to the concept of auto seat warmers, he fairly purrs, "It warms your ass - wonderful!"

(Dial it back, old man. Certainly you have a contraption in your laboratory that can manage that, don't you?)

You find yourself agreeing with his exasperated son Peter (Joshua Jackson), who asks, "Would you just talk like a person?" Peter's default setting seems to be cynical exasperation, but Jackson's exuding the most charisma here so far, reminiscent of early (and grumpier) George Clooney.

But there's a little game you can play while watching "Fringe." As it's part of Fox's clever "Remote-Free TV" strategy, each episode is about 9 or so minutes longer than the average primetime show these days. So you can try to figure out what scenes will get cut when the show airs on cable or in syndication, when it'll have to run with the normal battery of commercial interruptions. I'll start by saying the whole last scene can go, and the interactions between Olivia and Massive Dynamic's Nina Sharp (Blair Brown) can be trimmed down significantly, as well.

- "Fringe:" 9 p.m. Tuesday, Fox (Channel 11).

House (Hugh Laurie) has but one friend, Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard), and now, he doesn't even have him anymore. At the end of last season, House's drunken stupor was responsible, at least tangentially and probably even moreso, for Wilson's girlfriend's death (those responsible for Leonard not scoring an Emmy nomination for that episode are probably the same folks who blew that last-second fumble call in the Denver Broncos-San Diego Chargers game), and so, as season five begins, Wilson wants nothing to do with House or, even, the show in general - he's getting the hell out.

(Even hopped up on Vicodin, he should know better than to chew on his shirt cuffs. Or to wear that color after Labor Day.)

Of course, last season began with House's previous team (Omar Epps, Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer) having gotten the axe, and that didn't even last one episode. So do we really expect Wilson won't be sticking around in some capacity? And if they keep threatening to bounce some key characters but don't, they're just going to become the "House" that cried wolf.

Tuesday's season-five premiere is a reliably strong episode, as the patient du jour is an assistant to a driven harpy who champions women's causes but denigrates the women who serve her. Her ailment resonates with Thirteen (Olivia House), who has been diagnosed with Huntington's and wishes the patient were more assertive, but the patient lives only to serve - that is, if she actually survives her malady.

So it's an interestingly back-handed look at feminism, while also exploring House and Wilson's relationship - House actually implores Wilson for help, telling him, "Your friendship means more to me than this patient." Wilson, however, is unmoved, or, at least, unwilling to be manipulated further. Sundry members of House's team offer Wilson disparate advice on how to deal with this grave impasse.

So, Tuesday's episode is rock-solid. Next week's episode, I'm not so sure - it introduces a dodgy character that seems sleazy and scarcely much fun, a private investigator engaged by House to poke around in patients' backgrounds in the same way he had his team members do so, recalcitrantly, in the past.

It's a splashy episode with a lot of death and mayhem, leading back to an organ donor whose organs must've been pretty dodgy.

And so, season five: Three colonoscopies in two episodes! And one on a dead guy! And that one, with a really queasy result! Boom!

(Would they really break up this dream team? And, if so, who would stick around to watch "Fringe" afterwards?)

- "House:" 8 p.m. Tuesday, Fox (Channel 11).

When Fox Entertainment president Kevin Reilly speaks, you can pretty much trust what he says to be true, unlike other network executives out there we could mention.

So, while Reilly tried to sugar-coat the effects of the writers strike a bit at his Press Tour appearance this morning, he conceded, "It's still odd - everyone tried to reposition themselves after the strike and deliver smiley faces as to where they were. But it was obviously damaging.

"It forced the hand of where we were evolving anyway. Strike or not, we would only put two new shows on the air in the fall. That's what we should do rather than compete with all the noise."

Likewise, he was blunt about the state of the sitcom: "I can't even go to the platitude of, 'It's cyclical.' A lot of confidence has left the creative space. The talent is skittish; they don't know what to sell, they don't know, where is that nerve to hit?"

His big solution: Not to take pitch meetings in his office anymore. Seriously. He'll meet writers off the lot.

A second solution makes more sense: They're giving writers money to shoot low-budget, YouTube-style films of the sort that proliferated online during the writers strike to see if they can come up with something fresh. "We've got to do anything to mix it up," Reilly said. "Our comedy brand has been a little anemic. We're ready for our next 'Malcolm in the Middle.'"

Fox has formally split its development season into two parts; they're in pre-production on eight potential shows as you read this, with an eye to viewing them and making decisions on air them in December. One script Reilly professed to be high on was "Boldy Going Nowhere," from Rob McElhenney and the "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" brain trust.

Reilly did seem a little blasé about how important this fall is in terms of coaxing viewers back to the broadcast networks: "I hope that this fall is a reset; I think that it can be. I wouldn't read too much into it" if ratings continue to trend down, he said. "This isn't an all-or-nothing line of demarcation, it's not a point of no return." Reilly compared it to the slump at the box office a couple of years ago, which inspired a lot of whither-Hollywood hand-wringing. "They were just a few hit movies from making that talk going away."

Well, but everyone understands that the movie industry has cycles of up times and down times. The broadcast networks have been suffering from viewer attrition for years now.

(This has nothing to do with anything, but I couldn't find an amusing photo of Reilly and am still reeling from our little Sunday-school lesson from yesterday.)

Up in a bit: The "Fringe" press conference, which, I'll warn you, was only ehh. When the best moment is a throwaway line about a cow, you probably could've been a little more quotable.

Opening: Stars of Fox shows stand onstage, waving cheerfully. Includes Sarah Wayne Callies, who got offed this season on "Prison Break" but will miraculously recover from her beheading, who waves less cheerfully. Emily Deschanel and David Boreanaz of "Bones" exchange wan, not terribly funny banter of the sort that is usually a staple of upfront week but has gone sorely missed (or not) to this point this year.

Jon Nesvig, president, Fox Sales: Super Bowl blah blah blah NASCAR blah baseball blah blah. Here's something that's interesting - Nesvig considers baseball's All-Star game "the event of the summer," not the Olympics; the fact that the latter are on NBC may have something to do with that assessment. God, he has a droning voice; he sounds like he wants to kill himself and I'm not feeling so good, either. He maunders on: C3 blah blah enduring truths blah blah blah vital role in delivering purchase intent blah blah impactful advertising with immediacy blah hyper-targeting oh-sweet-God-take-me-now.

Peter Liguori, chairman, Fox Broadcasting: We service viewers first. (Should he be telling advertisers this?) Redefine viewing experience/remote-free TV/scary financial proposition blah and some more blah.

Kevin Reilly, president, Fox Entertainment: We're full-throttle in spring. Introduces new shows, including the two that'll feature limited commercial interruption throughout the season, J.J. Abrams' "Fringe" and Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse;" fanboys across the country are cleaning the spunk off their keyboards.

"Fringe:" Discussed in previous entry. Looks pretty good.

"Dollhouse:" Discussed in previous entry, too; too complicated to explain in a trailer, so it must be cool (and it looks it); fanboys are advised to keep spunk-cleaning wipes near their computers from now until both shows debut.

"Do Not Disturb:" Eh. Life among employees at a trendy New York hotel. Dumb, sexist boss doesn't care about the employees. Smart, sassy sub-boss cares for the employees. A stiletto-heel fetish and Molly Stanton seems funny as a stereotypically vain anorexic, but that's about it.

Next, two dramas that may or may not be on Fox at some point in the future: "Lie To Me" and "Courtroom K." Creators discuss them; not enough footage to assess one way or another.

"24:" Two-hour movie coming in November, then the season that was supposed to be this season, next season. Got that? Kiefer Sutherland seems like he really means it when he thanks advertisers for the "best seven years of my life." But then, he does have an Emmy, so he's obviously a good actor.

Next, two comedies that may or may not be on Fox at some point in the future: "Boldly Going Nowhere" (no footage but it's from an "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" creator, so that's promising) and "Outnumbered," typical typical typical dysfunctional-family sitcom.

"Secret Millionaire:" Reality show where rich guys go undercover in poor neighborhoods and find nice people to give money to. Reilly says, "It's so positive and uplifting, I had to check it came from Mike Darnell." (Darnell is Fox's reality-show evil genius who cooks up so many of the network's crassest programs.) Actually, I was thinking the same thing when Reilly said it. Was he reading my mind? Get out of my head, Kevin Reilly!

Two new cartoons that will be on Fox (not much footage from either, but given their lineages, expect good things): "The Cleveland Show" (spinoff of "Family Guy") and "Sit Down, Shut Up" (adapted from a live-action comedy from Australia about burned-out teachers by "Arrested Development's" Mitch Hurwitz, who avers that, as he was brought up in our own crumbling education system, "I didn't know what Australia was." More jokes like that and it'll do fine.

That's all they got, but Reilly wants people to hang around longer, so he brings out contestants from "So You Think You Can Dance." Sorry, people who think they can dance, I have traffic to beat, so I'm outta here.

Fox's fall schedule is here, so here's its (tentative) January schedule (you know the drill - * = new show; ** = new timeslot):

Monday
8 p.m. "Dollhouse"
9 p.m. "24"

Tuesday
8 p.m. "American Idol"
9 p.m. "Fringe" *

Wednesday
8 p.m. "House" **
9 p.m. "American Idol" **
9:30 p.m. Comedy to be named at a later date *

Thursday

8 p.m. "Hell's Kitchen" **
9 p.m. "Secret Millionaire" *

Friday
8 p.m. "Bones" **
9 p.m. "'Till Death" **
9:30 p.m. "Do Not Disturb" * and **

Saturday
8 p.m. "Cops"
9 p.m. "America's Most Wanted"

Sunday
7 p.m. Comedy repeats
8 p.m. "The Simpsons"
8:30 p.m. "King of the Hill"/"Sit Down, Shut Up" *
9 p.m. "Family Guy"
9:30 p.m. "American Dad"/"The Cleveland Show" *

In short: The No. 1 network looks to be in pretty-to-really-good shape. Just never let Jon Nesvig speak in public again.

So Fox's big news is that it will limit the amount of ad time next season in every episode of its two highly anticipated shows, which means that J.J. Abrams and Joss Whedon will have extra time every hour to further confuse and obfuscate fans of their brand of spinning dense webs of mysery and mythology.

Of those two shows, J.J. Abrams' "Fringe" looked nominally cooler, because its conspiracy was easier to follow in its trailer: Hot Fed (Anna Torv) investigates icky mass death in an airliner which leads to bizarre conspiracy that perhaps only a crazy genius (John Noble) and his son (Joshua Jackson) can unlock, and Lance Reddick of "The Wire" (and "Lost") is in it.

Hard to say what's going on in "Dollhouse" based on the cut-down that was presented, so I'll leave it to Fox's crack publicity staff's press release:

"Joss Whedon, creator of groundbreaking cult favorites 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' and 'Firefly,' returns to television and reunites with fellow 'Buffy' alumna Eliza Dushku for a thrilling new drama, DOLLHOUSE. ECHO (Dushku) is an 'Active,' a member of a highly illegal and underground group who have had their personalities wiped clean so they can be imprinted with any number of new personas. Confined to a secret facility known as the 'Dollhouse,' Echo and the other Actives including SIERRA (Dichen Lachman, 'Neighbors') and VICTOR (Enver Gjokaj, 'The Unit') carry out engagements assigned by ADELLE (Olivia Williams, 'X-Men: The Last Stand,' 'Rushmore'), one of the Dollhouse leaders. The engagements cater to the wealthy, powerful and connected, and require the Actives to immerse themselves in all manner of scenarios romantic, criminal, uplifting, dangerous, comical and the occasional 'pro bono' good deed. After each scenario, Echo, always under the watchful eye of her handler BOYD (Harry Lennix, 'Commander in Chief,' '24'), returns to the mysterious Dollhouse where her thoughts, feelings and experiences are erased by TOPHER (Fran Kranz, 'Welcome to the Captain'), the Dollhouse's genius programmer. Echo enters the next scenario with no memory of before. Or does she? As the series progresses, FBI Agent PAUL SMITH (Tahmoh Penikett, 'Battlestar Galactica') pieces together clues that lead him closer to the Dollhouse, while Echo stops forgetting, her memories begin to return and she slowly pieces together her mysterious past. DOLLHOUSE revolves around Echo's blossoming self-awareness and her desire to discover her true identity. But with each new engagement, comes a new memory and increased danger inside and outside the Dollhouse."

Got it?

Fox Chairman Peter Liguori, in trumpeting "Remote-free TV," said that in reducing the ad clutter, "Only Fox is putting the audience first." Well, for two shows, at least.

Coming soon: Breathless, action-packed play-by-play of Fox's upfront delivered of the sort you so enjoyed when it was done for ABC and CBS.

Here's the story on Fox's upfront that'll appear in the paper. More on the actual upfront (which would've been the shortest yet -- quite the turnaround for the network that puttered around for like three hours just a couple of years ago -- had they not trotted out "So You Think You Can Dance" contestants at the very end) in just a bit.

Fox announced on Thursday an innovative plan that actually harkens back to the earlier days of television: It will place fewer commercials in two dramas debuting during the 2008-09 season.

Called "Remote-free TV," the initiative was introduced in New York by Fox chairman Peter Liguori and the network's entertainment president, Kevin Reilly. It will be tested on "Lost" creator J.J. Abrams' new FBI conspiracy thriller "Fringe" and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" Joss Whedon's "Dollhouse," which stars Elisha Dushku as a member of a team of secret agents who are implanted with new personalities and abilities before each mission, after which their memories are erased.

Episodes of the dramas will contain half as much commercial time during each episode, or about five minutes of national advertising (in addition to commercials from local affiliates). The strategy is intended to prevent viewers from channel-surfing as much during commercial breaks, and the hope is that advertisers will pay a premium to spots run amid less clutter in two shows that already have generated a lot of advance buzz.

The network, which has long endured the challenge of launching new shows in the fall which invariably get interrupted by baseball playoffs and the World Series, will introduce but two new shows in September: "Fringe," which will air on Tuesdays after "House," and the comedy "Do Not Disturb," about the neurotic employees at a trendy Manhattan hotel. On Nov. 23, Fox will air a two-hour "24" movie that will retain the show's real-time conceit and will be shot in South Africa.

But for Fox, the season really begins in January, when "American Idol" and "24" - which didn't appear this season due to the writers strike - return. The network will also debut "Dollhouse," which will air on Mondays before "24."

Other midseason series include the animated comedies, "The Cleveland Show," which spins off a character from "Family Guy," and "Sit Down, Shut Up," a comedy about burned-out schoolteachers based on a live-action Australian comedy. It was developed for Fox by "Arrested Development" creator Mitch Hurwitz and will feature the voices of that show's alumni Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Henry Winkler.

Fox also introduced two dramas that are currently in development, with an eye toward turning one if not both into midseason replacement series: "Lie To Me," about behavioral experts recruited by law-enforcement officials to divine when suspects are lying in criminal investigations, and "Courtroom K," a legal drama from "House" executive producer Paul Attanasio.

The network additionally announced that next season, most "American Idol" results shows will be limited to 30 minutes. Reilly said that one of two comedies in development would likely follow: "Boldly Going Nowhere," from the creators of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," or the dysfunctional-family sitcom "Outnumbered."

Departing series include "Back to You," "New Amsterdam," "Canterbury's Law," "K-Ville," "The Return of Jezebel James," "Unhitched," "The Next Great American Band" and "Nashville."

... but there wasn't much to say. Fox will keep it simple this fall, adding but two new shows, before implementing more widespread changes come January. It's wimpy, like ABC's strategy, but really, as far as Fox is concerned the season doesn't really start until January because they're so busy contending with baseball in the fall.

Check back later, when I return from the upfront, for a full deconstruction; in the meantime, here's Fox's fall schedule * = new show; ** = new time slot):

Monday
8 p.m. "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles"
9 p.m. "Prison Break"

Tuesday
8 p.m. "House"
9 p.m. "Fringe" *

Wednesday
8 p.m. "Bones" **
9 p.m. "'Til Death" **
9:30 p.m. "Do Not Disturb" * (formerly "The Inn")

Thursday

8 p.m. "The Moment of Truth" **
9 p.m. "Kitchen Nightmares" **

Friday
8 p.m. "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" **
9 p.m. "Don't Forget the Lyrics" **

Saturday
8 p.m. "Cops"
9 p.m. "America's Most Wanted"

Sunday
7 p.m. "The O.T." (football overrun)
8 p.m. "The Simpsons"
8:30 p.m. "King of the Hill"
9 p.m. "Family Guy"
9:30 p.m. "American Dad"