He ain't heavy, he's my 'Big Brother'

Bless me father, for I have sinned. I watch "Big Brother."

Summer's guilty pleasure for those with no cable, "Big Brother," now in its seventh season, finally upped the ante by doing an "all-star" edition with past contestants returning to the "Big Brother" house on the CBS Studios lot in Studio City for another chance at $500,000 (what, they coudn't spring for a cool mil?) The man to beat is Will, below, known as "the evil Dr. Will," who took the top prize in "Big Brother 2" by lying his way through the game and making no bones about doing so. Now Dr. Will is a dermatologist who's a vocal advocate of Botox -- and it shows. His face is a puffy, wrinkle-free facade -- perfect for the way he bills himself: "I'm just circuitry and wires on the inside."

Other tough contestants include Kayser, below left, and Janelle, right, from "Big Brother 6." While Kayser seems to be one of the smarter players in the reality-show game, he tends to make moves that look, at first like they're bone-headed, but for some reason that eludes us will pay off down the road. Then they don't. Kayser -- put 'em to the wall and play like a man. Janelle, whose occupation is listed as "VIP cocktail waitress," has an uncanny ability to win the various competitions in the show, but she's often a target of the other players for that very reason. And don't forget the stealthy, two-faced James, below right.

The other addition to "BB" this year is that losers of the food competitions do not eat only peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a week. No, that's too good for these "all-stars," who, upon losing the fight for food, eat something called "Big Brother Slop," which looks like a stinky oatmeal derivative.

There's already been one eviction -- the annoying Allison, who also stunk up "The Amazing Race" a few seasons ago. Good riddance, I say.

In any event, the live eviction, during which host Julie Chen interviews the latest loser to be voted off the show, airs at 8 tonight. Hope I get my tape in the VCR in time to catch it. Otherwise, "Big Brother All-Stars" airs Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays at 8 p.m. Be there, or ... have something else to do.