Fox: Hubris and its discontents

Though the Fox network is again No. 1 in the advertiser-valued demographic of viewers aged 18-49 and its 2006-07 lineups (one beginning late summer, followed by a revamped January schedule) look fairly solid, I’d have to say its upfront presentation actually felt pretty disastrous. Naturally, everyone taking in these dog-and-pony shows is exhausted and less patient by Thursday, but Fox’s two-and-a-half-hour marathon production, the last of the bunch – which opened with an extravagant musical number headlined by “Family Guy� creator Seth MacFarlane and featured, among many, many things a pointless, time-wasting marching-band performance of the Fox Sports theme – felt bloated and leviathan-like and even a bit alienating. (Remember, Fox is only selling 15 hours of primetime programming, as opposed to 22 hours from ABC, CBS and NBC, yet its upfront was a full half-hour longer than its competition.)

The most appalling performance came from Fox Sports chairman David Hill, whose rambling, nonsensical diatribe suggested he may have beaten the rest of those assembled in New York – advertisers and other assorted media types – to the bar. He was resolutely incapable of saying the word “Tostitos� (not good to mispronounce your advertisers’ names), he went way off-script (at least, here’s hoping his words weren’t actually part of the script) and he was alone in finding his antics amusing. Fox Sports is such a juggernaut right now that Hill’s blather will likely go unpunished; had this come from a weaker network, the repercussions might’ve been severe.

Likewise, the network introduced – for the moment, at least – a new late-night show, “Talk Show with Spike Feresten,� which will follow “Mad TV� on Saturdays. Feresten, heretofore only a writer (just like Conan O’Brien before his own series, the network hopefully reminded the assemblage) on shows like “The Simpsons� and “Seinfeld,� came onstage and did a routine that absolutely bombed. The audience in L.A. watching the New York feed actually began laughing at the utter silence that greeted Feresten’s ostensible jokes, particularly after the feed cut to an African-American woman looking pronouncedly unimpressed after a Feresten gag about Duke’s Lacrosse team. Keep in mind that Feresten’s audience in New York was largely comprised of advertisers who will be considering whether or not to buy time on his show – based on their response to the guy, I can’t imagine any of them dropping cash on it; Fox just might end up canceling the show before it ever airs.

Also curious was a brief standup turn from Brad Garrett, who’ll return in a new sitcom entitled “’Til Death.� The cutdown of the pilot itself looked pretty promising – Garrett stars with Joely Fisher as a bored, long-married couple whose casual disaffection with the institution of marriage gives the newlywed couple next door pause to wonder. Garrett’s one-liners, however, were surprisingly sour – “Great to see Paula Abdul here today,� he said; “it’s nice to know that Bellevue has a shuttle bus.� Ba-dum-bump. And, ewww.

Even the “American Idol� routine, in which Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson judged Fox Entertainment president Peter Liguori’s appearance, was flat. Except for the moment when Simon pointedly noted, “This is the most bored audience I’ve ever seen.�

As I said, the shows themselves all looked perfectly viable. (The biggest question mark may be “Justice,� another Jerry Crime-heimer procedural about criminal defense attorneys – will viewers really want to watch arrogant attorneys spring probable murderers? Besides, CBS’s “Shark� figured out the format far more palatably – the eminently watchable James Woods plays a hotshot defense attorney who, after a crisis of confidence, begins toiling for the prosecution.)

In the past couple of seasons, Fox has made precious few missteps. One of its biggest may have been this curiously arrogant upfront presentation, but given the network’s success, it likely won’t matter.

All that said, Fox’s catering at its L.A. event was the tastiest of the networks'.