Bonjour: Laser Accurate Thermometer

This, my friends and neighbors and ships at sea, is the only way to go when you're finicky about preparing meat -- whether in the kitchen or manning the barbecue. The Chef's Laser Probe Combo from Bonjour Products is the pro way to go, giving one instant temperature readings either externally or internally. Aim this beam of quantum energy at the surface of that tri-tip roast and get one temperature -- then swivel the little probe away from the hand-held marvel and insert into cooking sacred cow: Voila! You have a fussless, mussless, real-time read of what those beef molecules are up to.

Bakers will find this invaluable as well. Given the vagaries of oven thermostats, it's nice to be able to pre-heat and then check the accuracy of your instrument panel before sending that apple pie to its date with destiny. I use mine with that groovy outdoor pizza oven made by Forno Bravo to tell when it's time to slide those delicate little pies onto the stone floor for a brief spell.

This little sonofagun offers a pistol grip, laser target aim, instant readout and backlit display. All that and a range from -76 to 932 degrees Fahrenheit, powered by a mere couple of AA batteries. Will miracles never cease? Does Satan have one to make sure sinners are getting their just desserts? I'm putting that on my Xmas list for him....